Gravity
by Samantha Strait
Summary: One-Shot songfic to 'Gravity' by Sara Bareilles. Bella can't escape her love or her pain after Edward leaves. Nothing she does helps her forget him. Her thoughts on Edward leaving in the months after waking in January.


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**Hey! So...I wrote a songfic called Awake and was completely inspired to write more like it. This one is for New Moon again, but solely from Bella's perspective. It is written around the song 'Gravity' by Sara Bareilles. Obviously, I felt the song fit what Bella should be feeling after Edward leaves. I hope you like it. Either way, review and let me know. Feedback means more fics like this, so...you know what to do. Thanks:D Samantha**

**P.S. The lyrics are in italics and Bella's thoughts are regular font.**

**P.S.S. You can listen to the song by putting this addendum onto the end of YouTube's address: /watch?v5mULa8WxTa4**

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**Gravity**

_Something always brings me back to you.  
It never takes too long._

Edward… Everything I see or do or think reminds me of you; the rocker you sat in to spend your first nights with me, my living room where we watched Romeo and Juliet die for their love, Forks High School's damnable walls…I never stop thinking of you completely. Every second of every day is _you_._  
_

_No matter what I say or do_

_I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone._

It still feels like you're here sometimes. I wake up from these horrific nightmares and almost expect to be in your arms. Walking the halls that hold so many of our memories makes me think you'll be walking around the corner any second…and I am constantly disappointed and crushed when you aren't there. _  
_

_You hold me without touch.  
You keep me without chains._

I know you don't want me. Even my sieve of a mind can process and remember _that_. Still, I love you with everything I have, everything I am. You still have my heart. It rests in tiny bits at your immortal feet. You still have my soul. Its shattered pieces are yours and with you no matter where you are. What I _was_ with you _left_ with you. _  
_

_I never wanted anything so much _

_than to drown in your love and not feel your reign._

How can I live knowing I was a waste of your precious time? Knowing you don't want me might kill me; remembering you even in my nightmares will make me lose my mind. Even thousands of miles away, you are still the center of my universe. How can this be? Will it ever stop?_  
_

_Set me free, leave me be. _

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity._

Please, let me have some peace. Grant me reprieve from thinking of you and how we were. I beg of you, wipe my mind of you so I can move on as you are with your distractions. Help me forget how I felt with you; let me make my way through this miserable human existence that looms ahead. Make this hole in my chest go away._  
_

_Here I am and I stand so tall_

_just the way I'm supposed to be._

I'm faking my way through life. No one really knows how much pain I'm in from this. Every day is a constant struggle to survive the overwhelming pain of your absence. How can these people not see my brokenness? Maybe they do and politely look the other way. Whatever. Acting like I care is hard enough…I _can't_ do anything more. _  
_

_But you're on to me _

_and all over me._

Charlie knows I'm not the same and completely blames you. He doesn't like what I am since I've met you. It's not your fault…it's mine for not being enough for you. Nothing I can say to my father will convince him of that. Convincing him to keep me here is the only thing that matters now. Faking it for him keeps me closer to you._  
_

_You loved me 'cause I'm fragile  
when I thought that I was strong._

I didn't used to think I needed anyone else. Having Renee and Charlie and a few girlfriends was enough. Now, I can barely function without the seven newest people in my life. I thought I was going to spend eternity with each and every one of you. Now you're all gone and I'm still here…broken and alone._  
_

_But you touch me for a little while _

_and all my fragile strength is gone._

You were in and out my life in such a short time, but you made me dependent upon you just as quickly. Your voice is one I would recognize anywhere at any time. The sweet scent of you is one I'd know instantly. The iciness of your touch still chills me…I am irrevocably altered by you. Who knew I'd be so weak?_  
_

_Set me free, leave me be. _

_I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.  
Here I am and I stand so tall _

_just the way I'm supposed to be.  
But you're on to me _

_and all over me._

Leave me to my misery. I can't take having you in my head anymore. Faking my way through life is impossible. Someone will see through me eventually. What will I do when that happens? Explaining all that happened here is essentially forbidden; no one would believe me and talking about you hurts too much to bear. _  
_

_I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on the ground._

You are the air I breathe. I'm drowning in this ocean of pain. Please, do something to save me. I beg you—let me breathe! I _need_ air…I need _you_. But you don't need me…you are more than I'll ever be. Why do I think you'd want to help someone as insignificant as me? Forget me and be happy…_  
_

_But you're neither friend nor foe _

_though I can't seem to let you go._

None of this is your fault. You hardly asked for me to fall so deeply in love with you. Was this all in my head? I _had_ to have imagined the feelings I thought you had for me. What right do I have to need you when I was nothing but a burden? I'll make my way through this, even if I have to fight the pain for the rest of my life._  
_

_The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down_

My heart will always be yours. I _can't_ give it to anyone else, even if I ever _wanted_ to let him take the damn thing. I'll dream of you loving me forever; the man you were with me will be my only companion through lonely nights. How many more years can I possibly live anyway…it doesn't matter.

_You're onto me and onto me and all over_

All of me is yours. Take it and do with it what you will. You are me. I love you forever.

_Something always brings me back to you_

_It never takes too long_

Edward…


End file.
